Why Toxic Relationships Exist (The First module of my new program Unbonded)

In this episode, we explore the reasons behind toxic relationships and how to heal from them through self-discovery and empowerment. 

I share pieces of my journey in this early bird sneak peek of my new program Unbonded.

• Importance of nervous system regulation and unconscious reprogramming 
• Personal stories highlighting the cycle of toxic relationships 
• Exploring the notion of soul contracts in relationships 
• The role of the creator field in shaping personal experiences 
• Transitioning through survival, victimhood, and into creation 

Resources mentioned: 

Unveiled - The Vault (Membership)

Light it UP! - Dark Force course

Chapters

• 0:00 Healing Toxic Relationships Through Unveiling
• 11:00 Understanding Toxic Relationships and Soul Contracts
• 20:34 Sharing Takeaways and Gratitude

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Unveiled, the podcast. I'm your host, angela Christian, and I help you with unveiling your true self by peeling away the layers that society placed on you. I do this with a combination of neuroscience, energetics and ancient spiritual wisdom. I went from underpaid and overworked in corporate America to launching a six-figure company that continues to grow. I went from toxic relationships to being happy and single for over a year as I worked and continue to work on becoming the best version of myself, and so much more. My greatest passion is to help women and mothers heal, transform and become the highest versions of themselves. As I continue to grow and expand my intuitive knowledge and unique wisdom, I'll be including you on my journey to millions. So let's get into it. Welcome back to Unveiled. Today I have a little special episode for you. I decided to share my first audio inside Unbonded with you guys, which is all about why we experience toxic relationships. I felt this was just like a good way for you to just like get a little taste of what to expect inside unbonded and if you have any questions about it, definitely reach out. And so, as a reminder, it's on presale. Unbonded is on presale through February 14th, so it's being delivered on February 14th. Once it is delivered, the presale price, which is only $111, will go up to the full program price, which is $499. That's for now. It might actually go up higher at some point because it's actually a lot bigger of a program than I expected. It's really hard for me to share small programs because I'm like I just want to help everyone with everything. But you know, certain people want to start somewhere. My signature program is Clean Beauty E, which is a much larger program and it includes like check ins with me. So Unbonded is an instant access program, which means there's no access to me. You can purchase like a mini intuitive read for an additional price. But unbonded is more for someone who, just you know, wants to jump in, wants to get started clearing some of this past toxic gunk.

Speaker 1: 2:25

Unbonded does not include emotional mastery. It does not include my dark force teachings. What it does include is the nervous system regulation, which is key unconscious reprogramming to shift your mind, to shift, which will then positively affect your creator field. So it does include some energetic components as well. So it is actually a great place to start if you're wanting to just start shifting the relationship dynamics that you've been experiencing. My typical client is a mother. However, unbonded would also work for women who are just wanting to, you know, get rid of this toxic relationship situation that they've been experiencing. Clean BDE would just be for moms, so not to confuse you, but unbonded nervous system regulation, unconscious reprogramming energetics. Clean BDE is specifically for mothers wanting to clear the toxic relationship with their co-parent. That includes everything.

Speaker 1: 3:33

Unbonded does not include the emotional mastery component, which is one of my pillars. My emotional mastery program is called Unbothered, so you can purchase that separately. Mastery program is called unbothered, so you can purchase that separately. Or you get access to all of these mini programs, unbonded, unbothered, inside my membership. If you join my membership, you'll have access to them as long as you're in the membership. Once you leave you will not have access to them anymore.

Speaker 1: 3:59

And these are audios. They're made to return as needed. So, for example, the more that you listen to a specific audio if it's clearing, childhood programming if it's clearing and I do include a childhood unprogramming episode inside Unbonded, because a lot of our relationship dynamics start from our childhood relationships, right? So I will share the links in the show notes for all of these and you can kind of check it out. But again, if you have a question, you can reach out.

Speaker 1: 4:31

So now let's dive in. Hello and welcome to unbonded. So let's start with the very basics, and you might have already heard me talk about this a little bit on my podcast or, if you follow me on social media, maybe you've seen me post something about this, but I just want to be very clear about where we're even starting on this journey. So if you are here, you've likely wondered why you might keep attracting the same kind of relationship or the same like patterns in relationships, or maybe, like some people, you just can't shake, like memories still keep popping up, even though you don't want to be with them, and then, for a lot of you, you have a co parent where you just want to change the dynamic with someone who consistently triggers you right. So we're going to cover why that's happening and unfortunately, there's a lot of low frequency information out there about toxic relationships, about why we find ourselves in toxic relationships and a lot of amazing. You know coaches who think that they're really helping by encouraging you to label your ex as a narcissist, or here's why he did that, or you know there's a lot of.

Speaker 1: 5:54

I mean, I follow some of the funny like meme Instagram creators where they're just like, make funny memes of like your co parent and all of that. I used to be someone who would share that a lot. I used to complain about my ex co parent onparent on Facebook. I used to do all the things. So I'm really trying to be careful with not sounding like I'm judging people or standing on a soapbox or something, because I've been there, I've done it all and I actually think they're necessary steps and a part of the healing process, right. So, in case you don't know, quick background on me is I've had very toxic relationship dynamics, honestly, since high school, and I'll tell you why, and I know exactly why. They continued to get worse, as they often do when it's a life lesson that we're supposed to overcome. I will share more about that as well.

Speaker 1: 6:50

And as it got worse, I started partying, drinking, doing all the things to numb out and I just couldn't figure it out and I just kept thinking like, okay, well, here I am in another toxic relationship. I'm going to have to leave him, and I would. I would get the courage to leave, and then I would find myself in a relationship and the same thing would happen or very similar right With my oldest child. I was in a very abusive relationship and at one point trigger warning he almost choked me to death. Luckily, his brother walked in and pulled him off of me. He was on drugs and drinking and definitely covered in dark forces which I know about now. I did not know the extent of it at the time. So looking back, I can definitely see what was happening.

Speaker 1: 7:41

But what I started to notice is, even in relationships with men who had never had any history of abuse, somehow we would get to a point where they would like physically abuse me, or it would be emotional abuse or verbal abuse. And then I started thinking, god, is it me? And I just was like so hard on myself. And then I was like, am I just too picky? Am I too? You know, I couldn't figure out what was happening. It was really frustrating and at this point, like I had been in so many relationships and I was just ready for it to be done. And this will help you, whether you're just you've had one toxic relationship or if you've had many. So this was definitely a life lesson for me to learn so that I could teach and help other people.

Speaker 1: 8:30

So my work rests heavily on three phases that I have seen most women go through here and my work is mostly for mothers although there have been women who have found me who are not mothers and it still applies if you've had, you know, toxic relationships. The first phase is just survival, getting out of the relationship right. And then the next phase is victimhood for lack of a better word where we're very much like blaming them, blaming ourselves, maybe both very much in that, like labeling oh, he was a narcissist, all of that right. So some people get stuck there and that's where they stay. I was stuck there for over a decade, so again, I totally get it. I had to be there and continuing to play out those toxic relationships in order to really understand every facet of toxic relationships, how they look, everything right. So I am happy I got to do that so that I can help other people.

Speaker 1: 9:33

The third stage usually women, usually mothers, come to me when they're still in the victimhood stage, but they're at like the end of it, right, they've tried all of the blaming, they've gone to therapy, they've tried other modalities and it's just they're just not feeling like it's getting the job done right. They might might not even be able to put their finger on it. They're just like I just want it out of me. I just want to be in a healthy relationship, right? And I remember the day that I fell to my knees and prayed for, like I was, like I am done with victimhood, please God. Like I am ready to create my life, and that's what I call the creator era, right? So when you're ready to start creating your life, it does take radical responsibility. It does take some reprogramming. I've seen some healers out there say like, oh, just come to me, I'll remove it for you. That could remove part of it, yes, but then there's some other work you have to do. Like it's just part of you know, earning your right to be a higher frequency soul. And so if you're in this program, you are likely a higher frequency soul Because, if you haven't noticed, on social media I've been trying to really just speak to my ideal client who is a mother or a woman who is over being in that victimhood era stage, right?

Speaker 1: 11:00

So, without going too much into a different topic, about 86% of the world is what I would call a younger soul, right? That leaves only 14% of the population that are older souls. Older soul meaning higher in frequency, meaning they've lived more lives. It doesn't make higher frequency souls better than lower frequency souls, it just it's kind of like comparing kindergarten to a college graduate, right. Like the higher frequency soul has just lived more lives, it has overcome more obstacles, it has more wisdom, right? So my work is not really going to resonate for younger frequency souls because they really want to stay in the lower frequency healing modalities of like blaming. They might have more, they might have a soul lesson that hasn't been learned yet, which gets me into the next piece of this.

Speaker 1: 11:54

So most people don't understand. Don't realize that toxic relationships are always one of two things. It makes it very simple, but a lot of people don't like to hear this. I would definitely would not have enjoyed hearing this 10 years ago, right? So one, it's a soul contract, meaning it's something that you and this person agreed to before incarnating into this lifetime. So one of the acts that I mentioned who was severely abusive to me, he and I had a soul contract. We agreed before we came in that he would do those things to me. I would learn he literally signed up to be a villain for me. He did that for me. So can you see how, like if someone is lower frequency, they don't have a higher understanding of how the universe works from an energetic perspective. That would be really hard to understand. It would have been hard for me, probably. I've always been pretty open to this stuff. So if someone had told me that, I probably would have been like, oh wow, that probably would have shifted my perspective, but I wouldn't have experienced another 10 years of toxic relationships either. I had to go through that right. So he and I had a soul contract for him to literally do those things to me.

Speaker 1: 13:14

A lot of things I won't get into here. I do get into them all in clean BDE, or not even all of them, but a lot of them. So that's number one sole contract. Number two it's a creator field issue. That simply means we are all living in our own Truman show, meaning you create everything in your life. If it's not a sole contract thing, right. So like a sole contract thing means it will happen no matter what. So there was nothing I could do to prevent that happening. It was a soul contract. Our higher selves agreed to that. It was going to happen. Our creator field reflections happen based on our energy, based on our thoughts, our patterns, our beliefs, our actions. So that's why we can actually change our creator field and change how people treat us.

Speaker 1: 14:08

So this was a big piece in my learning as well, because what I learned first was, okay, I just have control over myself, right, that worked for a little while. Then I learned, oh, once I had higher frequency teachings, I learned, oh yeah, I can control myself and I can control other people too, which is pretty cool. And so why would our souls do this? It is for growth. Obstacles create growth, and that's exactly why we incarnate in to third realm beings. Earth is the third realm. We are physical beings. This is where we can physically overcome obstacles.

Speaker 1: 14:48

So the toxic relationship you experienced or if you've had several of them too it wasn't just random, it wasn't a mistake. If it was a soul contract thing, it's because your soul chose that experience to help you step up into a higher level of wisdom. And now that's why you're here. It's you're not here by accident. Your higher self knew you would sign up for this program, that you would get this information. So none of this means that you should stay in a harmful situation or that what they did was acceptable or anything like that? Absolutely not. This is all about just shifting the perspective. Not. This is all about just shifting the perspective, starting to see the bigger picture. So instead of asking why did this happen to me, you could start asking what did my soul want me to learn from this?

Speaker 1: 15:38

We all have reoccurring soul lessons that we need to learn, and they often start somewhere. You know, from zero to five, we'll have a first lesson. For some people it's self love. I mean, that's pretty much a lesson everybody has to learn. Self love, boundaries, trusting yourself that's a big one right now for the entire world is trusting yourself over what other people are telling you to do, and then choosing yourself and not settling for less.

Speaker 1: 16:05

So now let me back up a little bit, in case you don't know what a creator field is. Our creator field is an electromagnetic field that we have around us. It's made up of our thoughts, beliefs, past experiences, unconscious reprogram or unconscious programming all of that we. It's what literally hands the scripts to people to act out. So you can kind of think of it like a movie and your energy is broadcasting a script that says people always take advantage of me or I'm beating myself up, so please come beat me up. Right, that was mine From a very young age.

Speaker 1: 16:46

I was so hard on myself with grades, with diet, I had eating disorders, constantly beating myself up, and if you look back at pictures of me, I always had bruises all over my body. So our body speaks to us and shows us where we're emotionally out of balance. I didn't know that, obviously, at the time, but the doctors would always ask, like, why do you have all of these bruises all over you? That is a sign that you are emotionally out of balance, that you're beating yourself up. So if you're someone who's been hard on yourself like I was, that can put a script in the creator field for other people to be hard on you. And it's not to punish you, it's to get you to a point where you're like I've had enough. So you guys are here, you've gotten to that point, right. So congratulations. That's amazing.

Speaker 1: 17:38

Now we need to change that script, right? So we're going to do that in here with the nervous system regulation to get you out of fight or flight. I do that for you. Then we're going to do that with the unconscious reprogramming. Again, I do that for you. I'm updating your unconscious mind that you're no longer in danger and then I will teach you some of the energetics.

Speaker 1: 18:01

What you'll notice if you follow the steps in here is that the people in your life will start responding differently. Some will just shift, some will fall away. I've had that happen a lot of times. I don't get attached to people. That doesn't mean I don't like care for them, but I can tell when me and a friend or something are just like no longer energetically a match and we just fall away and that's totally fine. That's part of seeing things from a higher frequency. Doesn't mean I don't care for them. It just means I'm, you know, moving one way, they're moving another way and so because this is an instant access program, I am not available to help you figure out like specifics, right.

Speaker 1: 18:44

But if you ever do want to book a one-on-one with me, I will put a link in the show notes for a mini read and what I can do is I can look in and see what could be in your creator field that needs shifting and I can give you some power statements to start dialing into your creator field to have people start shifting and treating you differently. I will teach you some in here, just based on what I feel would be helpful for the group. But if you ever want specific to you, you can book a mini intuitive read. So I would just listen to this again, let it sink in, really be proud of yourself for taking this step Because, like I said, a lot of people don't make it to this step. A lot of people aren't made or supposed to get to this step. So that's okay, I have compassion for them. They are our younger souls who are just going through their own learning stage.

Speaker 1: 19:43

Right, if you're here, you're likely a higher frequency, older soul, so you're just ready, naturally, to start shifting and with a lot of the changes happening in the world that we're going to see, we need more higher frequency leaders who no longer have these negative beliefs and programs in their creator field. So in the next series of audios you will go through the nervous system regulation. You will go through the unconscious reprogramming and after that, some more of the energetics. I'm going to give you some energy protections and an energetic cord cutting to get his energy out of you, to keep it out of you. Okay, so I will talk to you in the next audio.

Speaker 1: 20:34

Thank you for listening to Unveiled. I always love hearing your takeaways, so please connect with me on Instagram that Angela, marie, christian and feel free to tag me when you share it with your friends. Every single review matters and it helps me reach more people who want to improve this world. If you leave a review, let me know and I'll send you a little thank you gift. Any resources mentioned in the show will be linked in the show notes. Sending you all love. Bye.