Unveiled

Parenting Hack (10 min) on "That's not Fair": Strengthening Connection vs Shaming

Angela Christian Season 2 Episode 99

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Ever wondered how to transform a frustrating parenting moment into a valuable life lesson? In this episode, I share an enlightening experience at a carnival with my kids, highlighting a unique technique to help my nine-year-old daughter manage her feelings of unfairness. By turning the situation into a fun game where she listed the positives and negatives of receiving a snow cone, I not only helped her move past her frustration but also taught her the importance of balance and emotional regulation in a way that strengthened our bond.

Additionally, I introduce my membership program designed to support your personal growth journey. With 21 audios covering crucial topics like overcoming the fear of being seen, resolving money issues, and clearing childhood conditioning, this membership offers immense value at $59.99 per month, soon increasing to $111.

Members also benefit from live monthly calls for personalized coaching. Discover how you can enhance your spiritual journey and foster a deeper connection with your family by joining this transformative program.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to the show. I am in my car, so apologies if the audio is not amazing, but I just had to share this little parenting hack. And it doesn't have to be just for parents and children. If you don't have children, this could be really useful for you too. So our universe without getting into too much information on this episode our universe is one of balance. When we are trying to manifest, if we are saying I want that, I want that it actually pushes it further away from you. So what I've learned is it's really important to neutralize it, to not put it on a pedestal, because the more that we do that, the further it stays away from us. And so I use this in my parenting today. And it was just an amazing conversation with my nine-year-old and it's just like if more parents did this and dug a little deeper than what seems like bratty attitude, I just feel like our children would benefit so much. And then it makes parenting easier as well. So I'll give you two examples, but I'll first share this one. And so my nine-year-old. She's amazing. She knows that I always have these spiritual techniques. I teach my children how to clear their energy, how to clear dark energy from them. Well, I cleared off of my four-year-old because he's not, you know, old enough to quite remember how to do all of the steps, and his higher self said it was fine for me to go ahead and clear that for him.

Speaker 1:

So, backing up, yesterday I took my children to the carnival, which you know I only do about once a year and it's really fun for them. Their cousins join us and I knew my son could probably only be there for about an hour. It was getting close to bedtime and there weren't very many kid rides I think there were three and he was getting kind of bored. We played some games and I also had my teenager with me and my parents and my sister. So we agreed that my nine-year-old would stay behind and get to go on the rides with my sister and her children and that my teen was ready to go. She was like, yeah, I'm ready. So, in order to get my son out of there, who's four not super easy to negotiate with. So my mom said well, why don't we give him a snow cone to kind of distract him, to get him to the parking lot? Not a bad idea, Not my favorite idea, because I don't love all the sugar. He's experiencing ADHD sensations that are getting better with the guidance of a naturopath doctor, certain supplements, all of that and parenting techniques. But I was like, yeah, that will probably work. My teen was just like, come on, I need to get out of here. So on the way out we stopped. We got him a snow cone.

Speaker 1:

My nine-year-old happened to see from across the fair which snow cones are like her thing, and so all I've heard since she got home last night after staying later and going on all the rides with her cousins, is it's not fair. He got a snow cone. I didn't. I didn't really want to get into it last night I was tired. So this morning I was taking her over to her cousins to play and again she brought it up saying you know, it's really not fair. I wanted the snow cone. So I could tell it was bothering her.

Speaker 1:

The old me before I learned all of this and became a more like higher conscious parent, I would have just been like stop complaining, you know, whatever. So not super helpful for her, doesn't really improve our connection and doesn't teach her any type of lesson and in fact it can actually put in her mind like that she's being too much or too emotional, too needy, all of these things that create all this shame in our bodies and minds and that we have to undo later in the healing process. So what I said to her was okay, let's play a little game, and she's always like up for these kinds of things, so I guess it depends on the child as well. You could do it in your own way. I said let's and she already knows because we've done this before. But I said let's neutralize this. Okay, I said I want you to list all of the positives about getting the snow cone and all of the negatives. And she said, well, can we start with the negatives first? And I said, yeah, so we were just and you can make it up. So it's so crazy.

Speaker 1:

She started off by saying, well, a negative of getting the snow cone is all the sugar you know, and then, toothache, brain freeze. Then we started talking about it was like at a dusty fair. Maybe the person making it was really hot, was sweating and the sweat got into the ice, and then maybe there's goldfish there, so maybe they were storing some of the goldfish in the ice. Just getting a little like ridiculous. We know that all of that most likely, hopefully is not happening but to the point where she was finally like I'm good, mom, I don't care about the snow cone anymore, I don't want the snow cone. We didn't even like go through the positives because it was so neutralized.

Speaker 1:

So it was fun, it was funny, we came up with really funny things. It neutralized it. She can go on with her day, not thinking like that's so unfair. We also talked about, of course I said so you know, he got the snow cone, but what did you get? You got extra time with your cousins, right, so, but that wouldn't have been enough to really shift the feeling she was having of unfairness, right, and sometimes I will do like RRT techniques with her.

Speaker 1:

But I knew this one was kind of light and we could shift it in this way, and so I just really wanted to share that, because it's these kinds of easy, fun conversations that build connection with our children, also teach them about energetic, spiritual laws, like things most of us weren't taught in childhood, like my dream would be to have a school where children are taught universal laws, like how to clear your energy, emotional and nervous system regulation, like all of this that a lot of us are now, you know working through, and I'll give just one more example, and this goes hand in hand with a lot of the energetic piece of it. So when we're having something that's happening within us, if we have a thought that keeps repeating or we're out of balance in a certain area of life, it will show up in our body and our body corresponds to different things, and so I'm not going to get into all of that right now. But for this example, my daughter had this rash on her foot, on her like ankle, and when I picked her up from school I know rash means irritation and that where it was on her foot, like there was some kind of irritation with moving forward. And so every body part, every disease, everything corresponds to some type of emotion or issue that you're having. These are all reflections of what's happening within. And so I started asking her questions like so how are you feeling? Anything bothering you? And I explained to her. I said a rash usually means irritation, and I didn't tell her the thing about moving forward because I didn't want to plant something in her mind. So I just said let's talk about anything that's irritating you and neutralize it. So we talked about one of her friends at school told a boy that her friend had a crush on him and I said, okay, what are some good things about that? Let's list them. Because she was really irritated for her friend and she said, well, I guess now the boy knows she has a crush on him. Yeah, okay, what else? So we just kind of went through the list until it became neutralized.

Speaker 1:

Finally, we got to a deeper thing, and so just a quick backstory in case you don't know, in case you haven't been listening to my podcast for a while I chose in August of 2023 to move back in with my parents. I was living in a million dollar home four bedroom, four bath, beautiful yard, gated. In all of that, I wanted to leave corporate America, really focus on my businesses. Also, my ex at the time had stopped paying for half of childcare. So it just felt like all of these things happened and I was like I just think I need to make the sacrifice right now. Like nobody wants to move back home. They're parents when they're an adult, but it just made sense temporarily. So we're all at the point me and my children where we're like, okay, we need to get back out into our own house.

Speaker 1:

And so this finally came out was mommy, I'm just frustrated that we're not living in our own house yet. And I said I totally get it. And we talked about it. We talked about the positives, we talked about the negatives, all of that, and she said, okay, that's it, I don't have anything else. Sorry, there's motorcycles Like I don't know why there's so many motorcycles driving by right now. So she said, yeah, I think that's all. So we had gone through probably four different things, four different topics that were irritating her. The next day she woke up and the rash was gone and that really, like I could tell, was powerful for her. That's going to have a lasting impression in her that, like when there's something going on inside with our emotions, we don't want to suppress them, we want to figure out what's happening so we can clear them, address them, and then it will show in our body as well, and not everything will happen overnight like that, but it's just planting the seed for her that we do have control over what's happening to our health, to our body, all of that. So I just wanted to share those examples with any other parents.

Speaker 1:

Inside my membership I'm going to add an entire section of audios for children, because one of my clients in my membership. Her daughter loves listening to my audios when she goes to bed at night and so I got to meet her the other day on our live call and it was just so fun and it was like I was almost in tears I literally had to bite my cheeks from crying. But her daughter's nine, I believe, and was going through a lot of anxiety and so she likes to listen to my audios at night and it just inspired me like yeah, our kids need this kind of stuff. So I'll link my membership below. I'm going to be focusing on all different topics. My membership below. I'm going to be focusing on all different topics.

Speaker 1:

I already have about 21 audios in there on everything from, like, fear of being seen, money stuff, which I'm going to add a lot more money things in there. What else I mean? There's just so much Clearing childhood, like programming, conditioning, all of that. So right now it's only $59.99 a month, or if you buy it for the 12 months, you get two months for free. So I will drop that link below and it will go up probably, I would say, in the next few months. So my plan is to take it all the way up to $111 a month at some point, so right now it's only $59.99.

Speaker 1:

You also get a live monthly call with me where you can ask me anything. We can work on any topics, do live hot seat coaching. But, yeah, and I also go through a lot of energetics in there that you can use and that you can also share with your children. There's going to be a lot more. So if this was an interesting episode for you, definitely join us in the membership, because there's already some in there, but it's going to just keep growing. So, yeah, I hope that was helpful and I look forward.