Relationship Dynamics w/Amy Conner (Medium): Affecting Personal & Professional Life

Let's embark on a profound journey of self-discovery as we delve into the complex world of relationships with seasoned expert & medium: Amy Conner.

What if the relationships we form could reflect our deeply-held beliefs, insecurities, and our unique contributions? Could the understanding and support, or lack thereof, from our partners significantly sculpt our personal growth and professional success? Hold that thought.

Amy Conner returns this time to provide some insightful perspectives on our 'soul group' - a fascinating concept that explains how certain people appear in our lives in different forms, shaping our experiences and relationships.

As we navigate through life's ups and downs, our free will intertwines with others', often dictating the nature of our interactions. We tackle how these dynamics can either help us flourish or stifle our growth. This episode holds special relevance for entrepreneurs aiming to identify their genuine wants and needs in relationships!

Our journey takes an exciting turn as Amy and I delve into the role of self-esteem in building healthier relationships, and how our insecurities can affect our perception of love. We discuss some practical ways to identify and protect ourselves from negative influences and the significance of finding joy and cultivating positivity in our work and relationships. Get ready for an enlightening conversation with Amy that's sure to enrich your understanding of relationships, and their impact on your personal and professional life!

Book a session with Amy here. 

Transcript

Angela Marie Christian: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the 5D CFO podcast. My name is Angela Marie Christian and my mission is to help entrepreneurs and thought leaders rise to the 5D, where we can find wealth in all dimensions, in all areas of life Enjoy. I'm so excited to introduce my favorite returning guest, Amy Connor. Amy is my personal medium, intuitive, psychic, whatever you would like to call her. I just call her magic. She has opened my eyes in so many different ways and I love our conversations.

Angela Marie Christian: 0:33

So today we're going to talk about relationships and how relationships can either enhance or detract from your business, your purpose. It goes a lot deeper than that, which is amazing and very typical of our conversations. So if you want to read more about Amy or book an appointment with her which I highly recommend you can go to amyconnernet and it will also be linked in the show notes. So if you walk away from our conversation having some aha moments, definitely let me know. Please find me on Instagram at Angela Marie Christian and enjoy. Well, thank you so much for coming back on Amy. I'm really excited for our conversation today.

Amy Conner: 1:17

I'm so excited to be here and I love what we're going to be talking about today.

Angela Marie Christian: 1:22

Yes, I think it's really important to address this and just to give a little background. I've personally noticed in my dating life and I know a lot of listeners can relate that as an ambitious entrepreneur, not all of my partners along the way have been on board or even truly supportive. Some have expressed outright jealousy if they saw that I was starting to get some kind of success. Others would even purposely try to derail my success. And then there were others who seemed outwardly really excited for me but then wanted to capitalize on my success and energy and it just felt really heavy.

Angela Marie Christian: 2:07

So I've actually just taken a step back from dating for the moment because I realized that these poor choices I've made in the past for partners not only affected my business negatively, but in some cases even my life and my children.

Angela Marie Christian: 2:23

So I just feel like this is a really important topic to discuss and I'm so excited to have you on today because I do see other people in this space struggling with the feeling of well, I don't want to leave the relationship because I feel safe or it feels comfortable, or maybe she or he will get better, even when their partner is clearly holding them back from them fulfilling their life's purpose.

Angela Marie Christian: 2:51

So the first thing I would love to get your thoughts on is that I was thinking about this the other day, and I was just like you know. I feel like some relationships. They either delay towards someone reaching their ultimate purpose or not ultimate, but just their life purpose, and then some can enhance and even help collapse the time toward reaching that purpose, almost like I always think of it kind of like a video game, where you're presented different levels, sometimes you move on and then sometimes you don't, and so I'd love to hear your thoughts about relationships and their ultimate purpose specifically. Are people sent to us to purposely distract us, or is it to help us to heal and evolve, or both?

Amy Conner: 3:37

So you know, relationships are always enhancing our life, even when we look back at relationships where we wish we hadn't met that person or it fell apart in such a tragic way.

Amy Conner: 3:52

Relationships are so purposeful in our lives and it's important to look at the idea of another human really being feedback to who we actually are. And that's a tough one for a lot of people because we've all asked ourselves why do I attract this type of person? Or is my picker off? And we really get in that mind frame. That, I think, is just like almost the social norm of I'm choosing these people and I'm choosing the wrong person and maybe even like what's wrong with me. But what we really have to look at is we have a certain energy about us we all do that attracts other humans to us. Whether they're relationship, friends, employers, we all are constantly attracting one another. So it's important to first really look at what does a relationship bring you and why, even before we look at the connection to relationship and business, the common denominator is you Right, you are that person in the relationship and you are that person bringing in that job opportunity.

Amy Conner: 5:10

So you are the common denominator. But it really comes down to what are you believing in yourself that you are then getting back through that feedback through another human. So relationships are really about what you are allowing and what you are teaching them that you're good with. It's what you're enjoying, what you're getting out of that relationship. And it's so complicated because when we look at like, why would I choose a relationship like that? Our relationships are barometers to where we are because of our wounding growing up. So when we have wounding growing up meaning we have a fear of abandonment or we have these fears that we're insecure about ourselves, we will find that response in the partners that we choose. So it's a great thing because if we're feeling a certain way about ourselves and we don't really know that we are feeling that fear of abandonment or we don't feel that insecurity, we need that feedback to really go ooh, they're really insecure, they're really not supportive, like what is it in me that I don't like and what does that incite in me? So I feel like it's a great tool for us to go okay, I'm really enjoying the fact that this partner brings in a lot of joy to other people or a lot of spiritual growth to themselves. Like, where do I bring that in? It's not just a negative thing, but we have to look at.

Amy Conner: 6:34

Yes, absolutely, relationships are enhancing your life all the time, because without them you wouldn't have a chance to take a step back and say what am I bringing to the table and what do I want to stop doing? What limited beliefs are not serving me anymore? So I feel like the more that you understand what you bring to the table, the relationship starts to improve too and the type of people that you're drawing starts to improve. So, absolutely, it's a feedback for growth. Absolutely, it's giving you the opportunity to move to a higher level, because when you realize what that person is bringing you and when you realize you no longer want to tolerate it, that's when you grow.

Angela Marie Christian: 7:11

Thank you, yeah, no, that makes so much sense. So as an example in the past and I feel like a lot of people that are listening could relate is, for example, when I'm launching a certain program or masterclass when I'm in a relationship, sometimes I'll feel like, should I post that? That my partner is going to judge me, but that's really my issue. So I should really be looking at why do I not feel comfortable being seen?

Amy Conner: 7:44

100% yeah, 100%, yeah. I would be asking myself like what is it in me that I feel embarrassed to be putting on a platform anyway? Because if you were 110% confident, I've yet to meet a human like this. But if you were 110% confident, you'd be like I don't give a shit about what they think, because I'm really invested in this thought. I really believe in this. This is my truth. You wouldn't care. So it starts to play on that internal insecurity that you had even before you met that person. They're just bringing that out of you.

Amy Conner: 8:17

Now, if you're feeling like they're not supporting you, then you really need to look at and what ways have I always felt like I'm disappointing myself and why? Where is this attached to? Where am I not consistent to something as simple as like my daily workouts that I say I'm going to do, or this time that I'm going to be setting aside for work? Where am I not feeling motivated and where am I not being attentive to myself and supporting myself? So those feelings will still be lurking and then you will be vibing with someone who gives you that feedback and, kind of, I could say, affirms that in you through their actions. So, as easy as it is to be like why are they doing this? So it's like we really do have to look at us right, but I wouldn't say that it's something that you would need to just leave that relationship. The day that you feel like I can't post this, I would say take some time and really think about what it insights in you, what that brings you, before you make a decision that this person's toxic or there's no way I'll ever feel safer on them. Pick it apart a little bit first. Then, if you come to the realization of, yeah, this is still not my person, great, but at least you've done some investigating, right.

Angela Marie Christian: 9:43

Now that makes sense. That actually reminds me of this book. Have you read Existential Kink? Have you read that book I've heard of?

Amy Conner: 9:52

that. I haven't read it, but I've heard of that somewhere.

Angela Marie Christian: 9:57

Yeah, it's really interesting and it talks kind of like what you're saying, that she encourages people when you're doing something repeatedly. What kind of secret, unconscious desire is that inside of you? It was really interesting when she has you go through these exercises, uncovering what secret desires are actually attracting these people. And it's unconscious too. Yeah, I don't know. Something you said just reminds me of that.

Amy Conner: 10:26

Yeah, that comment makes me really think of an analogy that I could use for that, because a lot of times we look at what's our core wounding. That core wounding is creating our success or our downfalls in relationships, business, health, all of these things. What's our core wounding? Our core wounding is really going back to what did you either witness as a child, within your family, within your tribe, or what were you told.

Amy Conner: 10:54

You're getting this feedback in one of two ways. It's an interesting thing because in a lot of readings I'll talk with people. It'll be like, yeah, I had a great childhood, but I can see other cracks in there that they're not necessarily aware of. You could say I have the best relationship with my dad. He's my best friend, he's amazing. He never did anything wrong, we never fought. But then we can actually look at these hidden little cracks within some wounding there. That's like, yeah, he liked everything perfect.

Amy Conner: 11:24

So I always felt like I had to make sure that everything was great and I was always on edge and my nervous system was always lit up, wondering if I was doing the right thing or not. And now I bring that into my current relationship and every time my partner says a trigger word or they say something to me that makes me feel like I'm a child. I get triggered and I feel less than so. There's all those little hidden ways where we think like no, I'm good, I had a great childhood. We all are a representation of the way we were raised that formed the majority of our personality. So we are picking up on all of the ways that our parents parented and maybe didn't know that they were parenting. Just like you know us as adults, as parents, like, do we know what we're doing? I don't think everyone knows exactly what they're doing, but there is some of that like picking apart that older wood need that we don't even really acknowledge all the time.

Angela Marie Christian: 12:22

Yeah, no, definitely, and that's so true. And so I guess my next question would be I do believe that you know, and I know we've talked about this just in our own sessions, my sessions with you but I do believe that we have sole contracts with certain people before we come into this lifetime. But one of my questions is do those sole contracts have a concrete expiration date or is it just completely based on free will?

Amy Conner: 12:55

So I've found through my readings that we have a general what I call like a blueprint of our life, and this blueprint is really designing our kind of our purpose, of what we really want to experience in our life and meaning like, if I'm supposed to be a teacher in this life and that's my purpose, I can go about it a hundred and something different ways of how I go to teach, but it's kind of the laying the groundwork of what we really want to accomplish. Along with that, that blueprint comes in with a handful of people that is in your sole group. I would say your sole group has maybe I don't know 20 to 30 people, from what I've gathered through readings, and you don't incarnate with them all at one time. Of course that would be kind of pointless. But the sole group that you do bring into your lifetime and the people that you like to do work with are meetings that you will have. You will not avoid those meetings. It will feel like the universe just conspires to get you in this place in time, where you run into this person, and this can be for a very quick visit, where they say something to you that makes a huge impact, but then they disappear into the mist. This could be decades long of a relationship. It could be in the form of a friend, a mentor, a family member.

Amy Conner: 14:20

Our sole group shows up in different ways, so once we meet that person, it's going to be up to us mutually what we do. Do we continue to do that work together that we had hoped to do, or are we feeling a little too shy to go about that hard work? Are we feeling like it's not as necessary as we thought we would, because we ended up having this tremendous growth? So it's malleable. But you will absolutely connect with those people and that's why I tell people when they're like, where is my soulmate? There's nothing you need to do to search for that. When you're supposed to be with a partner, they show up for you no matter what, just like you show up for them no matter what.

Amy Conner: 15:01

The universe is conspiring behind the scenes at every moment. If you think about the people that you've met in your life romantic partners, the wins in the house you can see how there's so many moving parts to get the two of you together in that space, in that moment, because not only do you have free will, the other person has free will, and then you've got millions of people that have free will, that are constantly changing what's available to us. So it's actually a very big deal. You cannot miss what is meant for you. There's not a chance, but it is up to you what you do with that. So eventually we could look back on like relationships that we had as like teenagers and we can see like, oh yeah, that was for a season, it wasn't for the longevity of my life.

Amy Conner: 15:46

There are relationships that will be more likely to be very short term, but the time or the expiration date hasn't been exactly stamped on that, except to you of how long you drag this out. So if you're supposed to be with someone for a year and learn these really deep, intense lessons, but you're too scared to leave after that year and that other person's too scared to leave after that year, you will play out this really complicated, hurtful, confusing relationship that you will always tell your friends you want to leave but you don't know how that will play itself out eventually. But you absolutely have a hand in making this years longer than maybe it needs to be or that it should have been. But regardless, you can't make a mistake. It's like are you going to be on the freeway or the scenic route. Both are directions in the same area, but what do you want to be accomplishing during that time period?

Angela Marie Christian: 16:43

Yeah, I love that and I love in one of our sessions you had told me something like when I was going through a relationship. You said, well, I don't see an expiration date, but here's what's going to happen if you stay. And here's, it was nice being able to just be like, ok, I have this decision to make and I had some support and it just I don't know, just learning all of this from you has been so helpful. So one other thing popped into my mind oh, the other day, when I was in a meditation actually I was coming in or out of sleep and I had the thought like when will I find a better partner or something? And this voice came and it was like you will not find them, they will find you. And it was such a clear voice that it was like, well, and it just felt really comforting and it kind of goes along with what you just said.

Amy Conner: 17:37

And I like that. You say better partner, because most people will ask me when am I going to find my soulmate, my purpose, my whatever? It's not like that. We're constantly learning more about what we like and what we desire through the people that we've dated. So how would you know that the person now is good for you unless you've had all this other experience with people where you're like I like this, I don't like that, but I like this and I don't like that. You're kind of like building your desires and what you really love, like how would you know if you really liked bubblegum ice cream? Unless you've had bubblegum ice cream, you would never know. So it's that trial and error that feels really important when it comes to identifying your real wants and your needs through a relationship.

Angela Marie Christian: 18:30

No, that makes sense. And then another question I had was so going back to entrepreneurs who feel like they have a purpose, that they're here to help others, so to demonstrate how this can affect us and our future lives. For example, if I had stayed with my ex, I would have never come this farm business and which means I wouldn't be helping this many people and I wouldn't be in this better financial place. So if I hadn't had the courage to leave him because it was hard, would and I never like actually lived out that purpose. Would that purpose then transfer to, like my next incarnation, or how does that work?

Amy Conner: 19:20

Yeah, you would have gotten so uncomfortable in that relationship that you would have found a way to leave at some other point.

Amy Conner: 19:26

So, you can't construct this blueprint and come into this lifetime and then completely derail it. But sometimes our purpose is unexpected, so we think we're not close enough or we're not living it and we have to look at it in a little bit different way to be like well, what actually is my purpose? Your purpose is not your job, ever for any human being. Your purpose is totally different than a way that you get a paycheck. Hopefully they kind of go hand in hand, but it doesn't have to be.

Amy Conner: 19:56

But it's important to really look at like what is it that I'm feeling is is purposeful within me? How does this partner bring some level of support? It's not going to be 100% understanding, and that's okay. We're not supposed to be 100% like each other, but how do they bring some level of support? That makes me feel amazing. You would have never felt that with that relationship, so you would have constantly had this longing of something different. You wouldn't have been able to sustain that relationship indefinitely. So when your purpose is to be on the platform that you are, there's nothing that you can do that will derail that or completely erase that. You have the help of your guides, right. It's not just you doing all of this.

Amy Conner: 20:44

So you have these opportunities that show up for you and different people that will drop in for you. So think of this as as a way where you can only screw up so much until things start to really show up for you, where you're like all right, here's an answer for what I'm looking for. They come in sneaky ways where you think it's going to be bigger and batter than it should be, but you constantly get answers to your problems in every form.

Angela Marie Christian: 21:11

Yeah, so that makes so much sense. Thank you for that.

Amy Conner: 21:18

You know, it can just be on a different timeframe. So if it's like, all right, we're going to, we're going to do this relationship for like another year, okay, then it's another year of learning more about yourself and feeling like you've got so much angst built up that it finally gets you to change. So it's not wasted time. It happens the exact way that it should.

Angela Marie Christian: 21:41

Yeah, that makes sense. And then if someone finds that I know we kind of touched on this a little bit, but if someone continues to keep, you know, finding themselves in these relationships that feel like they're holding them back from you know, their, their purpose or their, you know, creating the success that they want, Do you have like a couple tips for people besides what we've already talked about? And I know some of this is like the unconscious programming, Some of it is other things.

Amy Conner: 22:14

So I would first distinguish this in two different categories. Is this a partner that I do find toxic and I want to make sure that I'm no longer dating this person? Or is this a relationship that I see that still has value, but we need to get it to tweak a little bit so I feel more supported? So, like, looking at those two things, I would say, if this is a partnership where you're thinking like I just need a little bit more support, yes, we're looking at like what do we need to bring within ourselves first? But then we really need to be getting clear of like what are my expectations of this person and can I communicate those properly to them? Because most relationships die of expectations gone unmet. We also have to assume that they are not your biggest enemy, and that's so easy for us to do in relationships and be like oh, they're out to get me or they meant to hurt me. Like I know I would never want to hurt my partner. Like nothing I ever say is supposed to be malintended, but of course he could take it that way, you know. He could say like oh man, you meant to say this or you meant to do this.

Amy Conner: 23:22

We always assume the worst because of the experiences that we've had in our life that have been bad, where someone has been awful to us. But it also plays on our lack of worth. So it plays on our insecurities and feeling like I maybe don't deserve this, so maybe he does mean to be mean to me or say these things or take my time away from being able to spend it on work related activities. So that's one category. If this truly is someone who's toxic and we're going. I don't want to replicate this anymore. It's really important that, yeah, we first look at what's that for wounding, what are my biggest fears, what are my patterns, what have I been constantly doing in relationships and what's been showing up for me, and really analyze that. But, moving forward, I would also write down some very clearly intended things that you want to experience in a relationship. What is it that you actually want? What is your definition of love? Because we all talk about it and we all want it, but at the end of the day, we all have a little bit different version of what it actually is Like. What's commitment to you? It's going to be different from you than it is to me. So, getting on the same page with what do I deserve? Right, because love could be skewed for you. It could be what you've, what you were shown as a kid that made you feel not seen and heard. That's not true love. So let's redefine that for you.

Amy Conner: 24:44

In your adulthood, what is it that makes you feel the most lovable and what type of partner do you feel could support that for you? Write it down Like you're starting from scratch of if I had a magic wand, what type of partner would I want to be experiencing and what would be a good flow? Once you start to meet people, you have to look at the red flags, because your wounding doesn't go away overnight, your patterns don't go away overnight, but it eases, and especially eases through each person that you meet and have even a small relationship with. So people will show up for you. But you have to discern what is truly a desire, not just what just happens to randomly match up. But is this a match because of our wounding or is this a match because this is what I'm actually desiring? Go back to your list. Is this something that's really important to me? Is this a red flag? So the quicker you can move on from even those pink flags, you're saying all right, universe, stop bringing me this crap, I'm done with this pattern. The more you entertain that knowing I don't know if it's right or this doesn't really feel good, but it was cool in the beginning All of these things are red flags that are overlooked and that person is really pushing your boundaries and you're allowing it.

Amy Conner: 26:03

So your relationships are what you teach that person that they can get away with, the way they can talk to you, the way they can behave, the way they can take your time. You have to be very clear, very quick, within your relationship of. This is what you can expect from me, down to this is how quickly I'll text you back. All of these ways are ways that you're teaching these people. So get very clear about what do you want, what does a committed relationship really look like for you? And then start to really move aside from those that aren't matching that, and you will be moving much closer and much faster to that person that you're really a great match with, that you're supposed to do work with. So I could say you know it's when I said, like you can't chase away someone that you're supposed to do work with, you can delay it.

Angela Marie Christian: 26:51

Hmm.

Amy Conner: 26:53

So if you're like, yeah, I know that this is the path I'm supposed to take, and this is more of the path of healing and opportunity, but if you're like, but I'm just too scared, I don't want change, I'm I'm living in this fear bubble, you will delay that encounter. But, wow, so interesting, but there's still something to be gained in the meantime, because you're still learning more about how to empower yourself. So it's not time wasted.

Angela Marie Christian: 27:22

Right, yeah, and that was going to be one of my questions too, is if you say no to people that are asking you out that you know you aren't a good match for, if then the universe and energy gets the memo like OK, no, moving on, and that's your level.

Amy Conner: 27:40

Yeah, the worst thing that you can do as a single person is go out with someone that you know is not a match because you'd rather not be home alone. Yeah, You're putting yourself in that vibration to match up with that person. So I would say, not only discern those red flags and who you want to spend time with, but who are you spending time with within your friend group? Who are these people? What qualities do they bring? How are they supporting you? How are you supporting them? What are they teaching you? What are they showing you?

Amy Conner: 28:15

So, making sure that you're talking about the things that you really want, not talking about the things that are going haywire. Yeah, Celebrating the wins that you have of like, yeah, I met this person super cute but we just weren't quite vibing. But you know what? I actually didn't take his number. That's huge. Because if your old pattern is like he's cute, I don't care if there's no substance, we're just going to go out, Then you're creating or allowing more of that to be coming into your life. So be very clear about what your boundaries are with us.

Angela Marie Christian: 28:50

Yeah, no, I love that. Thank you, the universe will do the best, yeah. And so this next question is a little different. But so I've been told before that, like, dark energies are often attracted to light and a lot of my listeners are in like the spiritual mindfulness space, and so they might call themselves light workers or their vibrations are higher. And so, as an example, I had an ex who you know, multiple people in different circles had reached out to me and said like oh, I can see he has like black tentacles, like coming out, attaching to you, like get away from him, and he was super attracted to like Ouija boards and seances and like just really dark things, and when I was in his presence I would feel like drained of energy and he would appear to have more energy. And so what would you say about this type of situation that people might be encountering and like any guidance you might suggest?

Amy Conner: 29:56

So I feel like this is more starting from a place of the narcissist and the caregiver, or the narcissist and the people please, or whatever terms you want to be using, rather than it just being about good vibes and bad vibes, because if we start from that place of narcissist, we can then start to peel back the layers and say someone who's feeling very insecure, somebody who's feeling powerless, somebody who's feeling like they need to be taken care of and their needs need to be tended to, enter the caregiver, people pleaser, who plays really well, unfortunately, with that type of person, because the caregiver is like, whatever I need to do to fit in your box, I will do it, just so that you don't leave me and just so that you love me. I've been there that was like all of my 20s, so I get it. But we'll naturally attract that person who will happily take as we happily give. So if we look from that situation, it's easier for somebody who's in that narcissistic position to have I don't want to say a lower vibration, because I don't want to judge where somebody's at with their growth and their trajectory but it can tend to bring a heavier energy, I can say, and that heavier energy, gone unchecked, can absolutely allow a funky energy that does not belong to them. So if we look at energy, there's so much more than just good and bad. But if I break it into those two light and dark components, that darker energy loves to be around. That bright, white light energy Feels way better Like wouldn't you want to be around someone so way lighter than somebody who's feeling so funky? Yeah, absolutely so. It's easier for this energy and I'm talking non-earthly energy getting a little woo-woo.

Amy Conner: 32:13

It's easier for them to get connected, especially like Ouija board stuff. I played that with my cousin and my grandma's basement and there was some weird shit that went down. It was never positive. It was like you're going to die or I've been murdered or like crazy stuff. It's never positive stuff on Ouija board. I will go to my grave on that. So that means that you're letting in these darker energies and you're not having any barrier. You're letting them in, you're not giving them any ground rules. So not sitting down with him and chatting with him. I'm going to assume that that was the connection there of allowing that darker stuff in and not having the knowledge that it was there. And it feels better when we're in that position of the narcissist to be around somebody who's bringing them up and putting them on a pedestal and telling them how great they are, because it comes from a place of not feeling good enough. Yeah.

Angela Marie Christian: 33:15

Yeah.

Amy Conner: 33:16

So less about the light and dark energies, definitely more about how those woundings started a process of defining his personality and what his go-to beliefs about himself were and therefore what he needed from the people around him. But there is something to be said about. We let in energies unknowingly. Some of them are great, some of them are not great. You have to have a routine of protecting your energy. If you are a sensitive and pathic person, you will automatically be allowing more energy in, whether you realize it or not. That's when you start to feel overwhelmed. Yep.

Angela Marie Christian: 33:56

Yeah, definitely, yeah, that's really helpful. And so is there anything else that you would like to add about people staying more aligned with you? Know the purpose they feel like they're here for experiencing a healthy relationship that adds to that or enhances that purpose, and then you know how people might get themselves more in alignment to attract those enhancers versus detractors.

Amy Conner: 34:29

You know it really is more simple than we think it is. A lot of this comes down to are you really living what your daily joy is? We put so much pressure on finding purpose through work or finding purpose through a task. We put so much pressure on finding that partner in order to fulfill these empty thoughts that we have about ourselves or to reverse those woundings. It really is about finding that happiness in the simple things that you're doing every single day. That has a nice trickle down effect to making you love your job more, bringing better clients, bringing better income, having a partnership for you that feels really supportive and what you would hope for. The more that you find those feelings of happiness and joy through little things that have nothing to do with achievement or a goal it's more of the being instead of doing you will find that you are generally a happier person. Therefore, you will find that work is happier, relationship is happier. It's just such an important effect between what you're doing that you just love that makes you feel more worthy. So it actually does increase your self-esteem when you're doing things that you love and then excite you Having something on your calendar that you have to look forward to. All of that has purpose to it, because the happier that you are, the more likely you are to spread it around with the people you come into contact with, where you're like yeah, I'm just having a good day, I love your outfit. Even a small comment like that can make someone's day turn around, and it's just because you chose joy that day and you're like yeah, I'm just feeling good for no reason, I'm just feeling really happy. So I would pay more attention on that and you will find that naturally, everything else starts to match up and become in alignment.

Amy Conner: 36:38

For that, rather than having to try so hard to focus on like am I fulfilling my purpose? Well, are you happy? Because if you're thinking that you're fulfilling your purpose but you hate your job, that's not your purpose. That's a skewed approach of your purpose. So it's. Am I contributing to other people? Am I learning? Am I offering more love and joy than fear and anger and sadness?

Amy Conner: 37:04

Like, where is that balance point? That's really where you start to feel the most purpose and then you can express it through all of these different outlets. So, just like you, like your purpose is to be seen on a big platform and influence a lot of different people. If you wanted to talk to people about different topics, it doesn't mean that detours from your purpose. You can find that purpose through all sorts of different ways. So I don't want people to get so tied up into like am I living my purpose? Well, are you living your joy? Let's look at that first, because that is the absolute fundamental building block on if you're feeling like you're really living your purpose. Because you have to have a lot of courage to really step into your purpose, and the courage is found through what are you doing for yourself that you feel deserving of?

Angela Marie Christian: 37:54

Yeah, no, I thought that's so true. And you know, like you said, I had to make a big decision, as you know, like to leave my million dollar home in Healdsburg to move home with my parents to really like be able to feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose. But not only has it helped me do that, I feel more joy. I wake up with my son and we just like cuddle and spend time together and that just starts my day off, you know, with just like so much love. And then I usually end the night in like a really nice Joe to spend some meditation and silence and just doing all these things that are really fulfilling me, and then I'm able to help others because I feel like like happy and fulfilled Absolutely.

Amy Conner: 38:38

So think about where a relationship comes in with with all of that, because you have all of those building blocks, you've got the happiness, you've got the feeling purpose, you've got the joy. Relationship comes in and it's a nice little add on and it's a nice little barometer just to give you more feedback to your growth and where you can still shift a little bit. So it's not directly tied into your purpose, but absolutely they will show you where they can either hugely support you, which is like feedback of cool I've really been supporting myself, I've been into my routines, I matter, and this person is mimicking that or it could be the complete opposite. So use that as a great barometer to where you've been working on yourself. So it's a nice add on. Yeah, you already have everything else as a great starting point that could continue to be an ending point and you could be very happy in that. So the relationship is just a little bonus.

Angela Marie Christian: 39:39

Yeah, no, I love that. And I do feel, though, sometimes because I'm like, okay, now I feel like these areas of life are good, and then I'm moving forward in my business, and then I'm almost like scared to get into a relationship, because I've had the experiences in the past. I'm sure I'm not alone here with the listeners, but like, is that going to detract me again? But again that comes back to me. Am I going to allow that? And so anyone listening to like it goes back to taking time, like you said, to really lay out what you feel like is a good relationship and what you expect.

Amy Conner: 40:15

And it's helpful too to have your sense of self and business, especially if you're a business owner, because that's an extension of your sense of self. What you're creating, having that somewhat established before that partner is brought in, is helpful Because you know, and what you had brought up with like, do I want to post this? Because this could feel kind of embarrassing or you wouldn't have any of that, and I feel like this is my business, this is just my day, this is my life, do you?

Angela Marie Christian: 40:44

want it or not Right.

Amy Conner: 40:47

It feels very different.

Amy Conner: 40:49

Yeah, yeah, because you're in a good spot right now because you really are very grounded and very clear intended on the direction that you're going with your business. Yeah, a partner really wouldn't derail that for you. You wouldn't allow it. You'd be bringing in somebody who is a match that really wants to see you succeed, because you're believing in yourself that that's what you really not even just want, but that's what you deserve Right, yeah, before you've wanted it but not known if you've deserved it, because those can be totally different things what you want and what you deserve, totally different things, but you're blending the two of them really nicely right now, thank you, so you'll have a much better match that shows up for you Good.

Angela Marie Christian: 41:36

You'll definitely know. Well, no, this was so helpful. I really appreciate you coming on and, yeah, your episodes are always like at the top, my top three. So, yeah, anything else before we close out.

Amy Conner: 41:54

If people want to find me, amyconnornet is my website and they can book with me individual ratings or do coaching sessions as well.

Angela Marie Christian: 42:02

Yes, and I highly recommend it, and I'll link your website in the show notes so if you're listening to this, you can just go and click on the link and book a time with Amy.

Amy Conner: 42:11

So thank you so much. Thanks for having me again, always fun.

Angela Marie Christian: 42:16

Thank you so much for listening to the 5D CFO podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it and tag me on social media. You can find me at Angela Marie Christian on Instagram, facebook and TikTok. If you haven't purchased my bestselling book Manifestation Mastery yet, it's priced at $0.99 on Amazon for the Kindle version.